I saw the most hysterical computer animated video the other day... "Why I can't make mom friends.." Funny to me in so many ways! Seriously, out of all the mommas I know, I don't parent exactly like a single 1 of them. I have much in common with many. I have many differences with many more. But, the only thing that matters to me, is that we are all doing what is best for our families. Whatever that looks like! PERIOD! Short of abuse and neglect, it really isn't my place to tell anyone they are doing it wrong, based on my own theories, opinions and experiences.
In my line of work, it can be hard for me to find the balance of sharing ideas and theories of my own and full on forcing my ideas and theories. Being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done. I frequently, with gusto, seek out wisdom from friends who I value their wisdom and skills! Knowing that it is hard for me, I try my hardest to always remember that this is the hardest job for all I love too! No matter where you are at in your parenting, it is tough! ;) I try to have respect for everyone, again, as long as they aren't abusing or neglecting their children. Even in those situations, my heart has the ability to look deeper and wonder what the whole situation looks like.
My own parenting is not perfect and is always changing. Sweet tall guy (STG from here on out, ;) ) and I are always having to look at things and tweak our ideas. For each sweet offspring (OS 1, 2 or 3 from here on out) ... Since they are all different, we can't use cookie cutter parenting. They all speak a different love language. They all have their own personalities in which they embrace each day differently. I know that you all have kids that may have similarities to mine, but none just like our sweet OS... For me to think our ways are the best for anyone us but us is just silly! When we have conversations (myself and the proverbial any other parent! lol), I can only offer what has worked for me, what I have tried on my own kids and any of the other 100's I have worked with. If you can use and tweak only one of my ideas wonderful! If you don't find any worth in what I offer, fine. Same goes for me. When I seek advice (and even when I don't, but get it anyhow, lol) and I can use 1 lil tidbit or know it isn't for me, great! It is important to respect each other as parents because we both have the same goal, to raise amazing adults! Or ok, at least that's how I feel.. ;) lol
I try not to get into debates about some of the things I deeply believe in, because I am not going to change my mind and the other person probably won't either. I parent largely based on my childhood and things that I want my OS to have instilled and things I want to avoid... I have gained most of my philosophies and practices since I became a parent. (Don't you just love when someone who either doesn't have kids or one that you don't value their skills, offers their advice up?? Always a personal fave of mine! hehe) STG and I are doing our best to keep our children out of adult therapy sessions, but we have a therapy fund started just in case! ;) LOL (More wise advice from a dear friend, who happens to be an AWESOME MOTHER!!!)
If you are doing your best, I don't care if you bottle feed your baby, never potty train them, sleep with them till they go to college, spank them, sit them in the corner, or hug and talk, do all of their chores for them, let them bring a paci and a blankey to kindergarten, whatever... Unless of course, I am taking care of them, (which if they are doing a few of those, we probably wouldn't be a good fit for each other! LOL! but I respect you nonetheless for keeping them alive!), the only thing that matters is that it works for you. The ultimate goal is to get them from birth to out on their own and able to handle it along the way! If you can smile and they smile back at you at the end of the day, I'd call whatever you are doing a success. EVEN IF, we don't agree! ;)
One of my jagged edges is really finding the balance of biting my tongue or sharing lil tidbits... I also know, thanks to God alone, when the conversation must stop to avoid long-term damage to a relationship, which can happen so fast with 1 sentence spoken or typed... Parenting issues is a constant classroom for those things. I want to share with people, but I know I am not the be all, end all of the how to do it rights, mom. I am passionate about children, especially my own, but I probably love your kid (or if I met them!) too! I have good intentions. I hope you know my heart when we talk about what to do the next time a situation arises... ;) Because if I know my kids.. a situation is right around the corner! ;)
Broken, glued, and lovin' life!
K
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