Social skills for preschoolers...

My days start each day with organizing and shuffling and ordering.. Who goes where, when, and what for. One of the biggest strides our studies have taken is on social skills. I love that we have realized how important it is to equip our kids with great social skills to be able to survive and thrive in our world once they grow up. They get to practice all of these things starting with their first social interactions.. Don't believe me? Ever watched 2 toddlers with 1 toy? ;) Uh-huh... See what I mean? lol LOOK OUT!

It isn't easy to grasp all of the components of a socially skilled adult. I can speak from 1st hand experience when I say this. I grew up in a world and life, that was void of any communication skills or effective conflict resolution. I was blessed to have amazing people placed in my path that were determined to teach me these things, knowing how crucial they were to happy and healthy relationships in all aspects of life (friends, boyfriends, work etc). They did their best, the rest was up to me to apply it in my relationships. I know that God fully intends us to fine tune these skills, so He'll likely give us a spouse. I had to relearn many of these skills in our 1st 2 years of marriage as I was showing repeatedly how "unskilled" I was.. LOL.. To those that knew us then, don't laugh, I know it's putting it mildly.

I was so excited as a mom, armed with my "bachelors degree" in these social skills, to teach them to my kids. My friends might tell you it's sometimes exhausting to be my friend because it is so important for me to have clear air and my excitement in teaching my kids was hard for some to understand. I know that it will be easier for them to start teaching them now how to communicate. "Use your words..."... I say that at least 79 times a day. Because when they leave and walk into school, it is not socially acceptable to walk up and knock someone over when you want what they have. Important to teach them to negotiate and problem solve. "How about you ask her for your turn, then ask me to set the timer? And then you can trade?" "Now, use your words..." ;) "I know you really wanted that truck, but do we bite/hit/kick/spit at/punch/choke/push our friends?" "can you roll the ball back and forth to each other?" See? These things are not what our human nature suggests we do... They have to be taught. Even after a child sits in timeout, there has to be communication that includes reconciliation, which teaches empathy, remorse, forgiveness, and instills a strong memory bank for the next time a situation arises.

These lessons are not taught overnight. Over the course of a week, month or even a year. Our very nature is take care of numero uno!!! That's right! ;) But to succeed and have healthy relationships, we have to look past ourselves frequently. We all have a certain amount of "I'm right!" and "I don't wannas!" factor in our blood. But to really excel at this game of life, we have to pull that in and want what's good for everyone, even if it means looking at ourselves, changing things about ourselves and sometimes just eating it for the good of others. I am committed to instilling deep social skills in all of the children that enter my home, for their good, and the good of all that will come into their lives. I am often reminded that I am raising adults, not children...

I was so blessed that God had people waiting, glue in hand, ready to take me to fix it shops and spend their time, free of charge, working on me. Corny as it is, since I can't ever thank them enough, I'm going to again.... Just the few I can pop off while my brain is in shut down mode... The Lord, My Grandma C, Barb, Cheryl, Vi, Melody, Eileen, Scott, Cody, Matt, Fawn, My parents, and many many friends... If someone has applied glue to your broken pieces, I encourage you to thank them whenever they come across your heart! When people stop to invest time and energy in you, it is because you are special, loved and worth every second!!!

sticky from applying the 30th round of glue this week... And it's only Tuesday... ;0)

K